Hahaha!

Just yesterday I mentioned on how am feeling guilty about not telling Tarun about the novels am reading at office. And, today, he calls me, and asks me "What's the name of the novel you reading?" And, I swear, I didn't mention even an 'a' of the novel to him. 


I was all the time itching to tell him and then tell him the story of the novel. HAHAHA! 
Perhaps, he got it when I said "Ya, am working, thoda thoda". The thoda-thoda gave me away, I guess :D


I guess in a husband-wife relationship it's impossible to lie. You are so easily caught. But, it's fun!!! We just love to do this novel-story-telling activity. This way he gets to hear a new story and I get to re-live my experience of reading the novel. With harry potter, I practically told him even the dialogues Snape said or the curses Harry used!
God, it's year end and a happy year it was!


Wish you all a very happy new year and a merry merry christmas! :)

Confessions

I've been reading novels by Nora Roberts since almost two weeks now. Daily. In Office. In office hours. :-|
I had asked for some suggestions for books on FB and a friend had mentioned Nora Roberts to me. I read the summary of the novel, and ridiculed her for reading Nora Roberts. That's so like MBs. But, ever since the day, I've been trying to get some of her novels to read. And, the result was that I asked Tarun to get it from market. For the time being, I read around 30 pages of it in a preview site. He forgot and I couldn't wait. So, the next day I searched it up on net. I couldn't find the book, but I found a tarball containing 37 of her titles. And, each one of the title is a novel in itself, so the first I read had 3 novels inside it. 
And, since Tarun wouldn't like my reading a novel at home when I could spend some time with him and Anay so I read it in office. I didn't tell him that I'm reading novels in office because he doesn't like me wasting office time for my personal stuff. But, I had no option. As an end result, I'm getting up regularly at 7.00 in the morning so that I don't miss my morning cab. So that I reach office early and can read the novel further. Tarun's shut down has already begun and he even offered one day that he would drop me to office. But, I just couldn't wait to get to my novel. So, I got up and got ready for the cab. And, made it to cab 5 minutes early. God speed, I have, if need be...if drive be!


Now, for one, I lied to Tarun, which I don't ever do. Mostly. I've work lying in office which has deadlines but I just can't put the damn book down. I don't remember my tea, I don't remember my lunch time, which I used to so religiously follow. Everyone in my team knows that if Swati's hungry then even a bomb blast cannot keep her away from her lunch, forget work. And, here I am, when people come to my seat to ask if we can go for lunch now, since it's already 15 minutes past our regular time of lunch. Then also, I've to tear my eyes off my computer to go.


Now, the big question is that where will I stop? Will I miss my office deadline and still evade from the check-ins waiting for me? Will I waste my shut-down reading these novels than using my time to meet my parents and talk to them. There have been too many things I was planning to do during this shut-down hols at my parent's house. God! I'm scared. I can see the impending disasters and my mind is already running to find out the excuses I'm gonna give them. 


I soo wish I had a personal home, totally personal, where I could do what I wished without feeling guilty. Where I could be just be myself and my heart could rule. My habitat. My home!

Books AND Movies

I don't know what is it about books that gives me such an adrenaline rush. Yes, I do know what that means, and I do know that people generally don't get it from books or something as passive as reading books. You can say, my life is just this much exciting and book-reading itself is such a big deal that gives me a thrill.
But, no, it's not like that. I've done adventure sports (well, I went to Adventure Island and sat on that silly merry-go-round kinda ride in India. You don't know when the strap holding in your seat  may turn out to be defective and you are flying in the air, ready to take the death-plunge. I think that's quite an adventure to last a life-time!) Never mind sports, I've many other exciting things in my life. (I can't remember any but I do have!) 
Anyways, coming back to books. Books always have given me a hit, a kick no matter what's going in my life otherwise. This is one place where I forget what my real life is like and just totally immerse myself into the character. It's soo sincere a dip that I start feeling, thinking, behaving like the book's character. A friend once told me "you should always tell me what you're reading so that I can be prepared in advance on what to expect of you". :D I think he understood me best there! I was reading Fountainhead at that time and the girl in it was Veronica, who expressed love by hurting her lover, Howard. :D
The passion of reading a book is so that it drives me totally oblivious to my worldly requirements, urgencies, my commitments to the worldly things. I don't care if I've a deadline waiting for me at work. I don't care if my boss comes over my head and sees me reading a novel in office. I don't care if I've to hide a torch in my blanket and read the book, or read it in the outside lamp's light. If I'm on a book, I've to finish it. As soon as I can. Day or Night. Early or late. Today or Tomorrow. Everything seems to stop existing. If you can avoid being judgmental, then even my being a mother ceases to exist. 
I've never known passion or drive in any other way. In anything else. NO!!! Wait!!!
Yes, I've known it with movies . When am watching a movie, I totally forget my surrounding. I don't care if no one else is laughing. I can laugh out loud on something I find hilarious. I don't care if heads are turning around me. I forget that Tarun is asking me something about the movie character. I don't even hear him asking me anything. It's only when a break comes, that I realize he did say something. He's got used to it now. Now, he doesn't even bother asking when the movie is on. Ha!!! 


I can't help it if it isn't something constructive that is my passion. I can't help it if the activities I enjoy most are not some successful businesses. This is all I know about passion. This is my most most  basic instinct. The carnal instinct. I can't change it. I can't enhance it. 


I love books and I love movies. And, love is too small a word to describe the emotion :) God, please create a world with me and books and movies (and food) and I'll be the happiest person. Love you, God! Take care!

My worries and my vows

Has it ever happened to you that there’s everything in your life yet you feel empty and lonely? I mean, you’ve everything that the world thinks or says, is required for a happy life. You’ve a good home, a good job, a great supporting, loving family, money to spend on things you like, time to spend it too. But still you feel an emptiness, a void in your life that says “I want more”. Has it ever happened to you?

This is my state of being. I don’t know what is that special more that I want. I don’t know what’s wrong with what I have and what is it that will help me get more happier. Sometimes, I feel it’s just a mirage I chase. It’s a bad habit of worrying for nothing that makes me sad. When I have something to worry about, I’m more happy and at peace. Is it so?

Or, is it really something real. Is it really something that I wish for myself, that no one else can wish or know. Perhaps, a personal achievement of some sort. Well, ‘achievements’. Phew! That has been an eternal wish of mine which has never been satiated and will perhaps never be, either.

I tried listing down my wishlist. I couldn’t make a big list. It was again a random list that came to my mind at that time. I don’t think I’ll come down to the same list if I start writing it down again. Some will be common, of course, because I remember them from my last list. :P But, how do I come to the point which tells me that this is the direction you need to follow.

I worry a bit about my relations. I have had a 3-yr timeline for my relations. I’m in my 3^rd year and am a little tense there. My past still haunts me on and off. Not in the sense of ghosts, but in the sense of guilt, reprise, slow-downs, perhaps. I hope this 3-yr timeline is just a lousy thought and doesn’t have much significance to it.

I worry about my personal, individual freedom being lost in my responsibility of motherhood. Or, vice versa. I try to merge the two. I try to make my rearing of my child as my aim/goal but somehow that doesn’t happen. The achiever, the career woman in me yearns for something as an entrepreneur. It yearns for a success that the world looks upto. Something which shows results in terms of money, growth and success. Something innovative. I have nothing in my mind but my mind is still full of multiple ideas.

I wish to continue with my studies. I want to do my Masters from some reputed institution. I don’t care if it’s a M.Tech or an M.B.A. What matters is the league I get attached to. I wish I had understood the importance of this feeling of being the alumnus of a reputed institute early in my life. My dad had given me the option of dropping 1 year for IIT. I never took that option. I never understood I would soo want it later in my life. Though, it’s a fact I still know, I wouldn’t have made it into IIT even after dropping at that time.  But, still. At least I would have tried. Now, when I know I want it, I don’t know if I can go for it or not. I don’t have enough drive. My passion is not passionate enough. I think a lot and do very less. I try to mend my ways but somehow I just lay lazy at the end of the day. This is my agony. This is my pain.

Does it all leave you confused? Well, I already told you, it’s a “Pandora’s Box” up there.

FB Status Update

My mind is full of status updates today. Since people will call me a crack-head on FB, I'm throwing myself on Blogger.


1. People lose touch or drop a friendship on petty things these days. They don't understand how much time they had spent in building that beautiful relation, once upon a time. They will never get time to re-build those, ever!


2. I wasn't born an adult. I've grown-up and matured through the years, as everybody else. So, if you think I'm the same girl who was so foolish so many years ago, we know whose the fool here.


3. I want some 'me' time desperately!!!! 
Just because I want some personal space, some time alone, or have something to share with someone else except you doesn't mean I don't love you. It does NOT mean I'm moving away from you. And, it isn't that bad either. Try it!


4. Rati Mehra : Just because you missed my birthday even after asking me my birthday date a week before my birthday, doesn't mean you've to stop talking to me at all. I'm not going to kill you. You just need to say Sorry, hear me hurl abuses at you for some time, and get over it, dumbass!!! Saying sorry isn't that bad! :(


5. With Ranbir Singh's Aadat se Majboor and John's Dostana, we may just have pit boys being hired for the next F1. Guys, you're doing just greattttt!!!!  :D


6. Ranbir Singh, plzzzz let me be the next!!!!

Success

There are 3 kinds of people in this world - one who work just to get the work done, they don't care whether they did good or bad.

the second one are those who work because they enjoy the work and they do it to the best of their satisfaction. What others think of the quality of their work, they don't care.

Then, there's the third kind, which works and works to do their best but other's recognition is also important. They want others to acknowledge the fact that they are doing good work.

The third kind is the worst and I lie in that.

It's the worst because in this bad bad world, people are more interested in finding faults in you than acknowledging that you doing something good.

And, if you are me, where the person's credentials also matter, whose complimenting me, you're living a nightmare.

My husband always says that the thing you're yearning for or running for is a mirage. You can never achieve it because it'll keep moving away from you. You want to be like X but once you reach there, you'll feel you need to be like Y. So, you never reach the stage of satisfaction. I know this is the truth but does it change anything for me? No. :(

Having said all of this, you may feel that I must be good but think of myself as bad. But, when I look around myself, I'm not even equal to the bare minimum.

My dad used to say that Swati always scrapes through to manage being in the top slot. That was whenever my annual report card used to come in school. The grade system used to be "O" for Top 10% of students. I used to be almost last in reaching that slot but always was an O grader. Quite obviously, as the classes grew, the grade reduced from O to A etc.

I still live the same life. Now, it seems how does it matter if you are last in "O" grade or first. You're ultimately an O grader. It matters to me. It leaves me in the dismal position where I want to think that I'm amongst the best minds but am not. I am periodically reminded this fact through my results. A new girl whose joined just 4 months ago is perhaps performing better than me, who joined an yr and a half ago. The comparison shatters my confidence, my ego, my right to live.

I perhaps take this too seriously but this is how life is for me. I don't know what to do about it.

Birthdays

Today I'm in a mood to post n post n post. Let's see how much I am able to actually do.


First, it's my birthday today and am one of those who absolutely loves to be treated like a queen on this day. Never mind that I remain same on others too :P Anyways, on this day, you MUST remember to wish me, say good things about me, wish me loads, and bring a special gift for me.


I've always had special affection for gifts. I know, everyone has it. But mine is a little far-fetched. I don't just want any gift. I want my near-ones to think a lot about the gift and gift me something than shows this is all about me. Something they know from my endless talks that I needed. Something they know I'll definitely like because I had wanted it since so long. Or, something just because I adore it, no matter how many in number I have. 
This is because I give the same kind of attention when I gift my loved ones. I never gift just for the sake of it. I gift after thinking of the person, and then the memories are most cherish-able. Both by the person receiving it and mine, because it brings great amount of satisfaction to me. To see them smiling, to see them feel so special.
AND, it has to be a surprise. 


Now, if you're a guy then you would definitely think, "O Lord, bless his husband. He must be having a hard time keeping this lady happy." :D Well! I agree. It must be tough for him. But then he's getting a great thing in return, and that's me :) :)


Well! Last year my husband gifted me a lot. He tried everything in his capacity to make me feel special. And, he succeeded, if you're thinking about that. The thing I liked the most was that he wrote a love-letter for me. Something soo not him and sooooo me! :)


This year, however, he hasn't been able to. Atleast not yet. Am hoping he comes out with something. :)


People generally question what's good about birthdays. Why should one be so happy about it. After all, it's an year reduced in your life. Sadists! Actually, they are ones who haven't yet understood the philosophy behind it.
1. These are just ways to celebrate. You can find your unique days or reasons to celebrate but you can't be sure that everyone would like to share your reasons of celebration. These are commonly followed. So, y not follow and enjoy!?
2. An year less in life...well, how many years you'll live, do u know? Then how do u know it's an year less in what date. Live the day, don't live the past, present, future.
3. Most important, it's a way of thanking God for giving another year, the new year, to know about yourself. About life. About the mysteries of human life. About this life and after-life. About learning. About unlearning. About growth. About loss. About emotions. About mother nature. To visit more places. To live more happy moments. To say "I love you" to your loved ones. 


"Where is the time to hate, there is so little time to love. Come'on let's sing, com'on let's dance. Com'on let's play..o meri jaaan"

Shamelessly proud of being a boy's mom

Yesterday, I uploaded a few pics of my li'l one on FB. As usual and expected, there were lot of likes, fake-likes n comments they received. My reason of uploading was only to share with my special frenz who don't get to see him a lot but keep asking me to at least upload sm photos for them to see. But, in the process, there are lot of formality people who feel they are obliged to at least LIKE the pic. Nerds!! 
Anyways, that's not why the blog. I let the world live in their own world. I live in mine.
The reason which got me thinking was sm1's comment on my son's bike pose and on his future. There was sth like "He will find a girl himself to fill up the back seat." I also replied comfortably, "Ya,  I hope he does."


Now, if I had been a girl's mom, none of this would have happened. Neither someone would have said she'll find a boyfriend and roam around with him on bikes. Nor would I have said, ya I hope she does. Is it my fault that I feel this way? Actually, not. It's the society. 


When actually two people are in a relationship, it's a mutual decision, a mutual mutiny with the society and its norms. As much as a girl defies the society, so does the boy. But, still the family of boy doesn't care if they get to know that their boy is having a girl-friend. They don't care if he's bunking classes to go for a movie with her or spending night-outs in pubs dancing with the girl. However, it's a deal worth losing appetite and losing sleep for the girl's parents. They are practically ready to just jump down the well or go into hibernation and shut themselves off from the world. 


I can't help it if being a boy's mom gets me so much relief. And, it's not just this fact but so many others.
1. You don't have to let go of your child when he grows up in his wedding.
2. As a child, a boy can lie naked in house, roam around like anything, but a girl is never left like that. She, no matter how small, is always wrapped in multi-layers. Tell me, have you ever seen a small girls' photo when she's having bath or sth? Have you seen the same photo of a boy? The answer is yes. Almost all boys have it at home, which is a laughing stock later. Never mind that one.
3. If a boy is dark/small height/has a small ****/whatever, no problem. If a girl is a little tanned, the mom has to keep worrying and doing remedies to improve her color.
4. ....


The list can go on. Am sure you can keep adding to it.
So, is it really my fault that I feel happy and relaxed that I'm a boy's mom? 


If I'm not, then how can I blame the oldies when they lament that it's a girl born. 
I know this analogy, this end-result is extremely sick to think of, shouldn't be the end result. Listening to it, thinking of it, makes me feel like I am the worst woman on the earth... but IT IS THE TRUTH and HARSH FACT in which I live. 


Can I do anything about it?


Well, yes I can. I can try and make this world a better place for the girls around me. I can try and narrow down the difference. Even if I'm not the mother of one, I can try and not be judgmental about other girls around. Just treat them as kids and let them be. 


I will definitely try.

Free- gyaan on marriage - Marriage

This was a piece of advice I gave one of my friends just when he was about to get married. 

A girl’s happiness and adjustment in the family totally depends on the boy and never the girl. So, it will always be your work to fix up things. Once you believe in this, you’ll never face any family problems. She’ll give you all the happiness in life but you’ll be happier if she’s herself happy from within. And that onus depends on you.

I learnt it by seeing Tarun. He’s done that and I’ve seen a girl (myself) change from a rebel to a complete Indian bahu taking care of the family, keeping everyone together, respecting everyone etc etc.. keeping the whole family happy. I never expected all of this from myself. There are so many things I never believed in or my parents still don’t believe in. But, he’s made me understand and see the beauty behind it. So, all the points go to Tarun for making it possible. The patience, perseverance and belief in himself and love for me made it possible.


This is just a starting point to understanding a marriage. Marriage is not just about being with your better-half and understanding him/her, and living with him/her. In India, it is more about settling in the family than with the hubby. There are just too many complexities there. If these hadn't been there, life would have been much simpler. So, for a successful marriage, aim for a successful bonding with the family. It's extremely important and difficult a job for the girl. And, whether alone or with her husband's help, she must strive for it. It not only defines the success of her marriage, it defines her happiness, her husband's happiness and the general good-health of the family. The happiness of a woman is generally ignored in Indian marriages but it is the most crucial. 

Karvachauth

This was my second Karvachauth. And it went successful. 


I'm pretty bad at keeping fasts. Those who meet me on a daily basis know it pretty well that I cannot skip my meals. No matter what. No matter I'm having a bad work-day, an emotionally challenging day, or a totally mad-day, I cannot skip my meal. Not even one, forget all three. Just before the Karvachauth, when the Navratras were going on, people asked me, you can't keep these, how did you manage Karvachauth. And the answer was "I don't know, maybe these are the first years of my marriage and I love my husband enough to survive the day ;) ".


This was my answer anytime anyone asked me. But, I never believed much in it. Too practical to believe in things like Love...
Perhaps, the reason was that my MIL doesn't force me to keep it strictly. She eats in the morning, gets me things I like, like Kalakand etc for the sargai. Then, she allows us to have water, tea and fruits at 4.00 when we do the Pooja. Maybe that's the reason I manage the day till the end. This is what I thought till this KV.


But, this time, I was amazed. It was Karvachauth. It was Saturday and we were shifting house so all the shifting had to be done. Since the shifting had to be done within those two days of the weekend, we couldn't afford to waste a day. So, I was all running here and there, packing everything, pushing cartons and all. Plus, to top it all, it was the time of the month which is common agony of being a woman. 


When the day started, I had a feeling that this day is a challenge, let's see how I fair. And, surprisingly, apart from a weak moment around 1.00 PM, after which I took a nap for an hour, I was fine. 


When the day ended and I looked at the moon in the sky and the moon/sun/stars of my life, I was forced to believe, it's indeed the love which survives me through it.


And, I have a feeling that when the love fades, the day will not go through either. Only time will tell.


Till then, wait-n-watch! :)

Free Gyaan on Marriage - Courtship

Having spent almost 2 yrs in marital life, I think I am eligible enough to give some gyaan to the people crossing the bridge now. Anyways, free gyaan/advice can be given without any experience also, so never mind. I'm breaking it into parts to maintain the importance of each. The first is about Courtship.


There are quite many friends of mine getting married around me. So, not thinking about my own courtship time and then marriage is simply unavoidable. I had one of the most happy and exciting courtship period and going by the statistics of Indian marriages, I should be amongst the most happy and satisfied married women. When I see the newbies, I lament for their loss when I see them wasting such a precious time like courtship in office or cribbing about work and preparations for the wedding. 


Courtship is the time when you've met your partner, whose going to be with you forever, whom you're supposed to be infinitely in love, so much so that no one else seems to attract you or matter to you anymore. While some people say that when you're getting married, you will have all the time in the world after the marriage to know each other, to spend with each other etc. I beg to differ. If you've ever tried to differentiate between a wife and a girl-friend, you'll realize that the major difference is that after marriage there are so many societal responsibilities and things to be managed that you never get the twosome time you should. Both the people are busy getting things done. Courtship is the only time when you can give the other person a chance to become your dream-girl/boy. If you have never spent some care-free time together and are always busy discussing the groceries and rent-to-be-paid, how do you think you'll ever gel together. Courtship is the answer to all this. Hence, never waste anytime of your courtship. 
To give a benchmark, I used to meet my husband daily...yes, daily, and no, we were not working in the same company. We had to make it work out. I used to go by metro instead of my office bus to be with him. He used to start at my time, come to my office, and the only time we used to get was while travelling from office to metro, which was around 40 minutes, +20 minutes which we used to average-ly snatch out somehow.


Second important thing, don't go by the norms. At least in matters of heart, let the heart rule and let mind take a nap. Just because something was done by some hero or heroine in a movie, you'll do it, is foolish. Make your own love story, define your own happy moments. Do what your heart says. After our roka/fix-up, I gate-crashed his office with a bouquet. This was within a week's time of roka. It was a surprise/shock visit. And, he was forced to leave everything he was working on and take me out. I know it's extremely foolish, unplanned but what's a story without any adventure/madness streak to it? Plus, I did what my heart told me to. "Mera mann aaya main kutta maar ke khaya" :P :D (For the un-bollywood people, this is a famous dialogue by a villian in a hindi movie..forgot the name of the movie..had urmila matondkar in it, that's all I can recollect).


So, moral of the story, nothing comes easy. If you want a relationship which is different from the average arranged marriage, you've to put in the extra effort, just like you are willing to do, in a self-chosen love relationship.

Pregnancy, Labor Pains, and thereafter

I'm sharing my experience of delivery. The weak-hearted, please don't read further.


Pregnancy was pretty much unplanned for me. While me and my husband were thinking of planning one but we never thought it would happen so soon. So, even before we knew, I was pregnant. 


11 July'2010 was my LMP and on 9August'2010, I found about it. Thanks to the preg tests these days. Now, for the first time pregnancies, it's a roller coaster ride. You can never know what is to follow. You can never imagine. No amount of gathering information on net, talking to elders, etc can help you prepare yourself for the unfathomable. 


In my first trimester, as soon as I realized I was pregnant, the chemical reactions started taking place in me. The 2 following months were terrible. I could hardly eat. Every time I ate, I felt like puking. I didn't feel like eating anything. I used to have what people call morning sickness. This means that if I took anything, like a glass of milk, or a parantha, or an orange, or anything, I will definitely puke. No matter how light I keep my diet in the morning, I would puke. 
There were times when I puked while going to office, in office and what not. My usual diet went down to half, and I started taking double the time to eat my meal. The whole table used to be waiting for me to finish. To top it, I wasn't supposed to tell anyone. 


I used to be very weak. Then, I got infected with ear-infection. It was something coz of the moist air. I remember the pain got unbearable and it was a Sunday, an off day for doctors. Me and my husband roamed around the whole area looking for a doctor, any emergency doctor in any hospital, but there was only Medicine Doctor available, no ENT. Since I was expecting, I wasn't supposed to take any medication without consulting my gynae. Finally, I called home. My brother got some medicine referred by a friend's mausi, whose a gynae. The pain killer helped me get to sleep for an hour. During this time, my hubby looked up the ENT specialists in Noida and called them up to find out whom we could go to. Finally, we went to one. He worked me up and I got relief. The medicines were again to be approved. My FIL is a Pharmaceutical guy so any medicine I take needs to be approved by him. Tarun and He decided I should not be taking heavy dosage. It was when Tarun saw that I couldn't bear it anymore that he superceded and got me the meds.


The pain, the agony, the turmoil ended as soon as I entered my second trimester. It was the best part of the pregnancy. No problem in general. And as it is said, the good times faster than the bad ones, this one ended too. And, my third trimester started. As soon as third started, I started having back pains. Standing for too long became quite tiring. I was tired all the time. I ate like sumos. Always eating, always hungry. 


In my 8th month, I started having itching problems. It's a strange and a very bad problem that ladies have during pregnancy. Due to the hormonal changes, the liver starts having problems and as a result, your whole body starts itching. The itching started with my feet, and took over my whole body within no time. I could no longer work. I used to scratch involuntarily and subconsciously. Tarun used to keep telling me "Try to avoid it. Try to not scratch." But, nothing worked. I stopped going to office. The itching reached its peak during night. I used to stay awake the whole night. You would think I'm exaggerating but ask my husband. He knows I'm true till the last dot. I used to scratch with everything and anything that got to my reach. The legs still have the marks. We tried everything from creams, lotions, oils...ohhh! what not! I used to pass my nights watching movies, reading novels or something. But, I could never rest. I slept in day time. 


Finally, on 1st April'2010, morning 6.00 AM, I had my pains begin. I was sure it was time. My MIL asked me a few questions to confirm that it was actually labor pains. We got ready, had an early breakfast n stuff. All set, but by 8.00 AM, the pains subsided. It was a false alarm. But, I went to my gynae for my regular check up in the evening. She said, it's time. The baby is progressing real fast and you will be back anytime soon. You may return tonight, you may return in two days. Let's see if the baby lets you see the World Cup or not. 
I don't know what the baby had to wait for but the result of that meeting was that I had severe pain now, and could barely walk or stand. I was sitting all the time. 


And, it seems the baby was actually interested in watching the World Cup rather than wasting the day in the OT. So, right after watching the World Cup till 12.30 AM, I had my pains restart as soon as we retired to bed. But, I wanted to wait and watch than disturb others. Till 2.30 AM, I kept moving in and out of the bathroom checking if I've a bad stomach or actual pains. Then, I decided...it's time! And I woke up Tarun. 


After the 1st April false alarm, everyone wanted to be sure than sorry. Tarun took his sweet time, as much as his howling wifey allowed. Then, he went ahead and woke up MIL and FIL. After everything, I reached hospital by 4.00 AM. This was another filmy twist here. The hospital was just 5 minutes from our home. But, the gate that we used to take was closed (since it was night). So, it took us complete 15-20 minutes to reach there. It felt like eternity to me. God was enjoying himself thoroughly. 


Contd in second post...

Citizenship, Religion etc

I often wonder what’s the big deal about citizenship and nationality. Yes, it does effect the kind of infrastructure I get, the luxuries that are available at my disposal, it changes the weather I grew up in, and it decided what language I use to abuse people when am angry. But, more than that, how should it matter where I was born? The people living in America or in China are no lesser or bigger human than I am. They work to earn their livelihood, so do I. They have families, kids, jobs, life, just like me. Now, when someone does something wrong to you, how does the country come into picture.

When the World War ensued and Vietnam was being destroyed by America, people in America protested their government. They held protest marches and what not. Was it unusual? Yes, looking at the culture followed in India and most parts of the world, it was. But, should it be unusual? No! As humans, we should raise our voices against any wrong done to any human. Don’t we do it when it’s done against our loved ones, or against people in our country? We don’t mind doing that. But, we question the sanity of the person who says we should behave similarly to a person living in Pakistan.

We eat rotis. Some people call it chapatti, some people call it roti, some call it bread. In Arabic, it must be called something different. We all do potty. Some call it potty, some shit, in rural parts of India, people call it laetrin :P Does that change what it is? It is the same. Just because something is called different in different languages or areas, doesn’t change the true existence of something. So, why do we think God is different from Allah or Jesus or whatever. Why can’t we just accept the fact that they are all same? And when they are the same, why do we have to make such a big issue of how one prays to it. When I am angry, I even call him swear words. So? Does that make me a satan? Does it change my feelings towards God. Does it change God’s affection towards me? No! God is God and Swati is Swati. To each one, its own.

These are some of the simple facts of the world’s existence. These have never changed just like so many other things about life. Just accept them and continue with the more pressing matters like the latest movie and the girl next door.

And when someone asks you, “Are you an Indian?”, just say…”I’m not just an Indian, I’m a global citizen.”

Women!

They are no sheep, they are the wolves, u fool

They don't mind winking at you on street side, if they like you

the thing is they don't like you

They can go ahead and propose any guy they want to,

the thing is, they know the silly would like to chase and get her, to realize he loves her too

They can shoot you point blank, if they wish to

the thing is they know better ways to kill you (like betrayal or a fuck) 

They have big attitude and even bigger ego than you

the thing is they are smarter than you to understand what they'll lose

They have sharper a voice than you and more strength to argue

the thing is they know it'll hurt you more than the physical torture

They act coy and shy in bed only because they know it gives you a high.

the thing is, if given a chance, they can rule better than you do.

They know how foolish it looks to propose in the middle of the restaurant,

the thing is, they know you have wanted to do exactly that, all your life.

And if you think you're being manipulated/maneuvered, think again, you're just been taken care of.

मन का परिंदा कहीं दूर उड़ना चाहे

मन  का  परिंदा  कहीं  दूर  उड़ना  चाहे 

एक  डोर  खींचे  है  तुम्हारी  ओर

एक  डोर  कहे  चल  दूर  चल

छोड़  दे  सब  मोह  माया  को, तोड़  से  सब  रिश्तों  को 

है  सब  यह  एक  मिथ्या  ही, करते  हैं  और  दूर  मंजिल  को 

मन  का  परिंदा  कहीं  दूर  उड़ना  चाहे 

लगता  है  जान  लिया  सब  दुनिया  को , खेल  है  और  कुछ  नहीं 

जानना  है  अब  अपने  अस्तित्व  को , क्यूँ  है  क्या  है  व्यक्तित्व  को 

इच्छा  है  उसे  समझने  की , जिससे  आई  मैं , जिसमें  मिल  जाना  है 

क्यूँ  बनाया  जो  बनाया  उसने , आखिर  ध्येय  क्या  है  इस  जन्म  में 

मन  का  परिंदा  कहीं  दूर  उड़ना  चाहे 

चक्रव्यूह  है , संसार  यह , तोडना  है  या  मिल  जाना  इसमें 

होगा  सब  अब  तेय  यहीं , करना  क्या  है  मुझको  इसमें 

मनुष्य  मैं , है  मुझको  अधिकार , करना  होगा  मुझको  विचार 

मैं  बन  पाऊँ  अनादी  या .........बन  जाऊं  संसार 

स्वाति 

 

procrastination

Too much work in office, hence I'm procrastinating. My Dad often says this 


"There are two times when people don't work. 
1. When they don't have any work. 
2. When they have too much work and don't know where to begin"


I'm in the second phase and unable to overcome the limiting friction. Need to get started soon!
Phew! Wish me luck.


And, PS: People who haven't commented on my post "My puchka on Janmashtami", I'll consider them as my personal rivals for my life. So, if you do not post something nice on my son's so-cute snaps soon, you'll fall into that category. Even after reading this, if you don't, I'll understand that you mean it."
If you are thinking whether it's a threat or not, be sure, it is a THREAT!


Smiles,
Swati 

Taking the 'other' path

There are quite a few unmarried, aged men in our company. They are successful, learned people. They are some of those who are doing exceptionally well in their work. Looking at them, I envy them sometimes. They had the choice to 'not' to chose the path of marriage. Not many women in India get that choice, or are mature enough to be able to tread that path.
Many complexities involved, I guess. Emotional as well as Environmental.


But, there's one more thing that sets these people apart. They don't crib about their unmarried status. Neither do they think it's a big thing. They are just at peace with the choice they have made. They are not people with broken hearts and drowning themselves in liquor or stuff. This could be the reason they took that path. But that's not what defines them now. 


They chose to stream their energies in a better direction. Getting married is not a big deal and not a very fun thing to do. Rather, you're saving yourself a lot of emotional and societal baggage, which you would have to carry otherwise. Not to mention, bearing with another person whom you not find so fun to be with, in a life-long journey. 


I wish I had that choice. Not that I don't like being married, but I do think it would have been a tough decision for me. I can't even say for sure that I would have taken that other way. But, still.


Now, having come this side, the other side is definitely heavily greener for me :P :)


So, all the bachelors out there, chose the right side, before it's too late :)

Whenever you try to smile, I'll come back smiling in front of you.
Whenever you want to move on, I'll come in your path saying a 'hi' again.
Whenever you want to grow in your life, I'll force you to think about me.
I'm the sweet past you cherish, I'm the mocking present.
I'm the hope you live by, I'm the destruction that will lead you to your end.

Opposite of Love : Quote

"The opposite of Love is not Hatred. It's Apathy" 
- Amish Tripathy in his book "The Secret of the Nagas"

Phoenix times

I had a terrible time in US. It was the time when I practically died and was reborn. In those times, I was totally alone. I was totally shattered. I wanted to die but death doesn't come to those who want it. I wanted to kill myself but that needs a hell lot of courage. I didn't have that either. The day my SP Jain result came, I went into a trance for almost a week. I don't remember what happened. I don't remember what I did in those days. And, it's not now that I can't remember it, even then, 2 days later, I couldn't recollect what had happened in those days. I just remembered the day the result came.
After lot of crying, cursing, sulking, and hitting myself, I gathered myself. I engulfed myself with work. I am glad I had my group of girls around me who supported me by just talking to me. I never told them the mess I was or the mess my life had become, but it was still a healing thing talking to them.


I had lost everything I had. I never followed the world's rules and always made my own. I doubted my conviction now. I always followed my heart for decisions. I had no heart left in me. I made no decisions anymore. I used to laugh out loud with everyone and anyone. I stopped talking to people. Even the girls I used to talk, I never talked personal things. I just listened to what they had to say. I used to look at guys, I stopped. I used to watch movies, I stopped. I used to enjoy going out, I stopped. I just followed the routine.


I called my parents a few days later and told them I want to get married and you can start looking for a match. They were so relieved, I could feel it in their voice, even when they didn't say anything about it.


The time for my going back to India came. I reached home after a complete 6 months. 11 January'2009 - 17 June'2009. People used to crib on how different it feels when you return to India from US. I never felt like that. On the contrary, USA felt like a long dream which had ended. Nothing looked changed in India. That's what home is. Nothing had changed for me in my surroundings...in my external. But, internally, everything had changed. There was nothing left of the girl who went to US 6 months ago.


I used to be a dull girl professionally. My eyes had opened to so many things now. My heart used to be a constant wanderer looking for new pastures. The search had not just ended, it started looking pointless. I always wanted to find love in my life. I now hated the word 'love'. I disliked slow songs, serious movies, romantic novels. I just liked things practical, worldly.


My dad had been looking for matches for me ever since I told him to. He was looking for them on Jeevansaathi avidly. I came to know the intensity of his search and his dedication only when I returned, when my mom and my brother told me about it. I was anyways, too removed from these things...anything even remotely connected to love.


I had totally succumbed myself to whatever fate had in store for me. I had decided that I would not get love in my life again. Marriage simply means compromises and responsibilities and happiness for my parents. That's the reason I am going to marry. And, if I am marrying for their happiness, I would not create any fuss on the person they chose.


All this resulted in the fact that, before anyone knew, on 14 August,2009, I was engaged. Not even a month before I had landed back to India. The person chosen for me had nothing I had ever looked for in a boy. He was the kind I wouldn't even give a second look perhaps, if given a choice. Even before I had met him, I had this clear in my mind.
1. My parents like him and desperately want things to go through.
2. I want my parents to be happy.
So, I let things happen.


But, as they say, whatever happens, happens for good. That's what happened. I never ever imagined God would be so kind to me. I have never felt so blessed ever before.

Cute Guy

Met a cute guy in office today...

Actually, a team member caught hold of this shy guy and the first girl he could see on his way was me. He brought him near me, and said this is "Ad*****, SV Expert". The guy was so red, you should have seen his face.

Reminded me of college...similar incidence...a shy guy, teased by his friends. :D

I get a hit when I see a guy going red blush. :D My husband is one of them.

Heheheh! You can well imagine what I do to him to get that hit. Love to tease him exactly when he can't take it. Like in public. Now, he's got used to it a bit. So, the fun's fading a lil.

But, today was fun. HAHAHA!

My friend - You n I

This poem is written for an anguished soul, who hasn't been able to find peace since quite some time now...

You say Life is about making a mark, I say life is about making mistakes.

You say life is about devotion, loyalty and passion, I say life is all about experiments.

You say 'Life is about doing something for others', I say 'Charity begins at home :) '

You say 'I loved you and I'll never be able to love again....', I say ' ... :) How do you know? You never gave it another chance!'

Live you life, my friend!! Don't bind it into empty rules and beliefs. Life begins when you throw away the rulebook.

Hope you find peace.

Smiles,

Swati

My Mother-in-Law

I need to write this. I don't know by the end of this post, I'll be on the positive side or the other, but I need to get my thoughts sorted out.

My Mother-in-Law is a.... lady. I don't know what adjective to put there. She's been too good to me. She's been the reason of my sorrows at other times. I remember the first night after I got married, I cried. I cried not because I was missing my parents. I cried because she had commented on something my parents had given in marriage to the relatives here...sarees, I guess. All had returned with a negative feedback saying they didn't like it. I hated it when people/anyone commented on my parents. I hated it when the reason were petty like formalities and gifts. As per me, I never wanted any kind of dowry to be given in my marriage. Despite all efforts, despite heavy fights between me and my father, they did give 'gifts' which are supposed to be just gifts and not dowry.

On top of it, she said people didn't like it, as if expecting me to tell my parents about it. I fought with Tarun on it.

Later, I realised that it's her habit of saying whatever is on her mind. She doesn't really care on what's given and what's not. She has a habit of saying anything and everything that comes to her mind. A way of off-loading. Hmmmm. But, the incident left a scar somewhere.

We had our own settlement issues. There were lot of times when I was extremely difficult. I wouldn't say anything about what's troubling me, but would keep my face low. Extremely low. It was the most disrespectful thing to do. But, that's what I am. I can't hide my emotions. If I've a problem, and if I can't say it, my body language will say it.

She has this queer thing of asking everything. What you bought? What you talked? What you do at office? What you eat? She has too many questions. These questions used to irk me a lot. They still do. I have a feeling that these questions are not to poke into me, but only to be a part of our lives. Just to make a conversation sometimes. But, I like to have my own personal life. I can't explain each and every tit bit to her. While I do try to, whenever I'm in a good mood, I get irritated when am tired myself.

She's more of a people's person. She likes to meet people. She like to go out with people. I, on the other hand, like to spend time with my family (me, Tarun and my kid, with papaji-mummyji, at max). She wants to invite people over if we're planning a get-away. And, if we are reluctant, she starts with her lecture on how we should be open-armed to everyone. One enjoys more with everyone. Since these people are mostly my sisters-in-law and their kids, it's an amazing time for everyone in the family but me. :( I don't know if it's my fault that I don't enjoy as much with them, or is it simply my nature that am reserved.

The part that's making me worst at the moment is her habit of keep giving me work-orders. Whenever I'm on a holiday or have a weekend, she tries to keep me working all the time. I initially thought that I have a problem with working that's why I get so irritated. I tried to mend my ways. But, then I realised that even if I finish up the work that's there in house generally, she cooks up some new work for me. Basically, she doesn't let me relax. She even tries to know what I do in office. She feels I waste time and come home. These feelings make me terrible and feel like blowing up on the world.

But, I know these are all negative feelings which are coming to the surface right now as the weekend has just passed by.

When I start looking at her good side, they are enumerous too. If it hadn't been for her, I don't know where and how my son would have been taken care of. I'm able to work without any issue because she's taking care of him, and good care of him back home. Me n Tarun even get to catch up on some late-night movie once in a while, because she is there to look after him. These are the benefits none of my friends-with-kids have. And, none of their kids is as well-taken care of. And, also, not to forget the simple things she does to make us happy. She's not much of a gift-person, but she makes sure to get a bouquet or a gift for me on my bday. She came to know that coz of work, we two couldn't go out on Valentine's Day, so she specially made Halwa for us, to commemorate the day. She cries and gets really upset if she sees me crying. She allowed me many things which I know were not easy for her.

Despite all her goodness, I cannot help getting agitated at the small but daily issues I face coz of her habits. She has toned down herself a lot for me in these passing years. She will continue to do if I keep telling her or discuss with amicably. She is just another ageing lady who wants love and attention and respect from her kids.

I hope am able to do justice to her.

God, be with me.

Home

It's close to 1.5 yrs since I got married. I have a home where I go everyday. Eat, Sleep, Laugh, Cry..Live. But still, whenever my heart is heavy, and I wish to relax and unwind myself, I think of home. The home is my Dad's home.

And I've a feeling this will remain so for a long time to come.

I wish I had my 'own' home. Sigh!

My puchka on Janmashtami

The Trinity

This post is a part of my continuous quest towards understanding God, Life and my position in the scheme of things. Readers may/may not find it too valid but for religion, I believe in the mantra "To each one, It's own". So, should you.

I have always believed in God inside oneself. It’s not in any idols, it’s not in any one above us, it’s within us. In each one of us. Despite that, I’ve always respected all the idols, all the mythical Gods that Hindu scriptures have detailed. I believe that they all once existed, if you talk of Lord Rama or Lord Krishna and they are all true. I believe in these myths. Yet, I believe in one God, one energy, one common thing that binds us all.

As per the Hindu mythology, there are 3 major Gods we have – The Brahma, the creator of this earth. Lord Vishnu, the balance keeper, the one who maintains everything on this earth, and Lord Shiva, the destroyer.

I think this all started with the Big Bang Theory, just as Science claims the earth started. One common ball of energy divided itself into small pieces to give us life as is. Now, consider the ball of energy to be God – one, united, single God. That energy went and placed itself into all the things we call ‘living’.

Now, how do you differentiate between living and non-living? Anything that can grow, maintain and reproduce is called living. Pre-dominantly. Or, I can fairly say that anything that has the 3 types of God vesting in itself is living. Every living thing has god in it and has the 3 features/attributes of god in it – the Brahma, the Vishnu and the Shiva.

Now, if I have Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva in me then how is it coming into effect?

The world I have around me is formed by my thoughts and by my actions. Whether it is the emotional world around me, or the physical world around me… whether it’s the materialistic part of my world or the non-materialistic things. They all are part of my world because I’ve intended them to be a part of my world. If society is part of my world then I’ve consciously made it a part. If family is a part of my world, then that is also my decision. The home I live in, the people I interact with, every bit is created and put together by me. And, this is the same reason why every individual has a different world. A different world, a different set of circumstances. That’s why everyone has unique challenges in life, and unique solutions to get past those challenges. Two people may share their worlds together due to common links but at the bottom of it all, everyone has a different world, which has been created by them, for themselves. This was the Brahma part of them.

Since each one of us has a different world, each one of us maintains it differently. Working in that world is the Vishnu part of us.

And the things we banish from our worlds, in terms of people, or beliefs or values is the Shiva part of us working.

So, effectively God has given us the powers of Lord Brahma, Lord Vishnu and Lord Shiva. We can create the world in which we live, as we wish. We can run it the way we want and we can destroy the things we don’t want.

Why should one work for the nation?

Nowadays, Anna Hazare is the latest trend. He’s working on getting a bill passed so that corruption can be removed from the Indian society. There are lot of people following his cause and doing their bit in promoting it.

In all this hue and cry, I wondered, where does this fit in God’s scheme of things? When all of this is a myth and nothing of this matter at the end of my life, then why should I work for it?

The answer that comes to me is “For the good of people coming next in this life”.

When we’re working for the country, we’re working to give a better future to the next coming generations. We’re trying to make their lives better when they come into this world. If you look at everyone as a part of the same soul that all of us started from, then the success of each one of us to reach Him ultimately is important. More the people reach/work on the same path to reach God, stronger and happier the world will be. If all of us think in the same line, the same happens to the earth.

In satyug, everyone thought of peace, happiness and communal harmony. Everyone worked for everyone’s good and not just owns. That’s why everyone was happy. People worked and lived happily together.

Today, in Kalyug, everyone thinks of their own self. More so, they are jealous of others being happy. Hence, there is a general sense of tension and hatred and mistrust all over. No one wants to help anyone. When even after a bomb blast, people get back to work it’s not their resilience playing its role. It’s actually their indifference and selfishness which is working there. It’s nothing more than their curiosity to see what’s happening that makes them stop and look for the dead/injured people. They ultimately just feel sad and move on.

It’s important for everyone to be like-minded and working for the general good. I don’t care if that happens through Communism or Democracy or Secularism, but that’s what will lead to a better life for everyone.

Mera Desh

Hum azaad hue 1947 mein...

Lekin hum aaj phir ghulaam hain....

Bhook ke,.... Bhrastachaar ke, .... aur Aatankwaad ke.

Ab zaroorat hai Bapu banne ki, Bhagat Singh banne ki..

Desh ko aazaad karane ki, khud aazaad hone ki

Humein phir azaad hona hai...

Humein phir azaad hona hai!

Kids know it all!

My son is a petty 4-month old child. He's caught cold and cough. Yesterday, when we were trying to give him medicine, this funny incident happened.

He usually cries if you take him in godi and then put him down. He accepts it only if he's sleepy. So, when we put him down to give medicine, he started to cry a bit. His father wanted him to cry because that way he takes the medicine properly, else he spills it around but won't take it in. Now, when the smart chap saw that we have medicines in our hands. he stopped crying and closed his mouth tightly. We waited for a few minutes that he'll cry, but he didn't. He kept looking straight into his Dad's eyes and waited for him to retrieve. :) :)

It was such an amusing incidence, to see such a small baby to understand what's happening around and react so aptly. It was fun!

Live it before it ends!

I started reading "Tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom, after reading a friend's post about it. While reading the book, I remembered how it was so similar to the book "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch. I had read the former a long time ago, perhaps an year or so, ago. Both the books are written by people who know they're about to die in a few months/years time, and wish to make the most of their lives in this departing time.

I always feel very encouraged and charged up after reading these books.

But, in some time, the charge fades away.

I was thinking, what should I do to keep it alive always?

The answer came: Ask yourself every night "Is there anything you wish to do in case you die tomorrow? Is there anything you MUST do right now?"

This way I think I'll always have my priorities right and keep doing things I always wish to do. This may also help me in not worrying too much about the petty issues of life like Work, Relations, House Rent etc.

Hope to remember it!

The 'J' factor

I was seeing a friend's HM pics. Most of the HM pics are always steaming and love seems to be in the air, but this one had real good pictures. The pics were really well taken.

But, after seeing them, I felt sad. I felt like "How happy these guys are. I wish I were".

Then I realized even I was! Damn it! Still, I was sad. I kept looking at the pics over n over through the day and kept feeling bad. I thought n thought.

Then I understood.

I was simply jealous. It didn't matter what I have. It's just that seeing someone else happy or with something special makes me jealous. I think this is the 'girl factor'. Can't help it. Shallow me!

But then, who said I was God. :P

The other day I saw a friend in a beautiful Khadi Saree and remembered how I wanted to create my own wardrobe of such sarees. And, started feeling J again. :) :P

And everyone knows what follows such a feeling.

I pinged Tarun right there saying that we'll go shopping this very weekend. :D

Girls will remain girls!

PS: Despite the fact that girls have a J factor in them, it's not something that defines them. It's a quick emotion which comes and passes by. Just that, there are some intermittent actions that follow such emotions, like shopping (or crying in extreme/maniacal cases). But, at the end, it's all human. :)

Loser or a Phoenix..?

Sometimes it all looks like futile attempts. It seems like whatever reasons I give to myself, they are mere excuses...excuses that I use to escape from the truth. It seems like I know the truth but am struck in a vicious circle where I have to keep giving myself hopes that things will improve and keep trying. Every time I fail I've to get up again because I've no other choice. I've to accept that I failed and try again. There's no running away from circumstances. There's no quitting.

I HAVE TO do it.

I HAVE TO try again.

I HAVE TO keep working at it, no matter I succeed or fail.

No matter how many times my ego is hurt. No matter how many times I've to take the shame and gulp it in and forget it. I have to keep trying to improve.

All sounds like a winner in the making.

Don't know if it's a winner in the making or a loser pleasing herself.

What women want

People often wonder what is it dat women want!? I don't know the answer either. But I think my Mr. Aggarwal knows it for sure. :)

Love ya!

Inequality equalled

After delivering a baby in a normal delivery, by natural course, a sad thought came to my mind...

"All the pains in the process of recreation our borne by the woman...puberty, intercourse or delivery. Is it really true that God has made man the better gender, the purer gender, as mentioned in Ramayana? Is it true that God has created man for the better jobs and women for the dirty ones? If it is so, then no matter how much women fight for equality with men, they can never win the inequality already done by God."

The thought was really sad but somewhere in my heart, I never could believe it.

As time passed and I spent some time with my baby, I realized how wrong I was. God has not made women the lesser ones, rather they are the 'chosen' ones.

Motherhood is the payback for all the pain you have taken.

The kind of bonding that comes in between the baby and the mother, right after birth, is so out-worldly an experience, that no other feeling in this world can compete it. No other relation or emotion is so strong as this.

If someone asked me what is motherhood, I will like to quote Stephanie Meyer's words from her famous novella 'Twilight' about a concept she has penned as 'imprinting'. It's something like this (rewritten in my words)..

"It feels like the whole universe has adjusted itself around that point. It's as if nothing else, no one else exists but that object. It feels like the object is your personal sun. "

I think it is a similar feeling for your baby. This is something only the woman can feel and no one else.

I am repaid. :)

Understanding relations

A sudden thought came to my mind. We understand blood relations because they are pre-defined. We follow them or respect them because we’re accustomed to following them in a certain way. But, as we grow old in age, and we meet new people, and we make new relations, we get confused. We get confused as to why these relations are there, what I should name this new relation, or why, at all, I need to name this relation!

I think it’s because naming a relation attaches certain rules, certain codes of conduct, certain expectations, and certain limits, to the relationship.

These limits, why are they needed? Why do we need to differentiate between a real brother and a foster brother? It should make no difference practically. But, it does. It does because that’s how the balance of civilization is maintained. It is the basis of human civilization.

Imagine for a minute where we don’t follow these rules. What if we stop following them!? You’re friends with a person. You grow fond of the person. You like talking, sharing ideas, laughing over nothing. You grow so close that whenever you’re upset, you go to this person. You cannot think of anyone else for solving your problems, unraveling your mind, or getting de-stressed. It’s like your tonic for the day, for life. Life’s going great, no problems!

But, there is ONE problem. You were already in a relationship with someone else. This new person was just supposed to be a friend, or a foster brother/ sister. Can any husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend accept that you’re so close to someone else than himself? If it’s a true relationship, then can anyone accept that for emotional support, you depend on someone else than himself/herself? Or, is it really now a question of “As long as you’re not sleeping with him/her, I’m fine!”

I think in today’s real world, it has come down to this one basic question only. A husband-wife relation is different only because they sleep together. They are not dependent on each other financially, not emotionally. The physical need is the only need. So, once that need is fulfilled from somewhere else, the reason of marriage or the relationship fails. This is the reason why we have so many failed marriages and such short lives of marriage. And, what was the basic flaw? “Love ended, we were too apart people, we had stopped understanding each other”. NO! The basic flaw was that we didn’t maintain the sanctity of our relations. We never maintained the basic rule that for all emotional and physical needs, I’ll look unto you and no one else.

Moral of the story: Society people may be orthodox, but society rules aren’t. These rules are the basis of humans living harmoniously else everything will be a chaos. Civilization means inter-dependence of human beings. No dependence, no civilization can exist.