Birthdays

Today I'm in a mood to post n post n post. Let's see how much I am able to actually do.


First, it's my birthday today and am one of those who absolutely loves to be treated like a queen on this day. Never mind that I remain same on others too :P Anyways, on this day, you MUST remember to wish me, say good things about me, wish me loads, and bring a special gift for me.


I've always had special affection for gifts. I know, everyone has it. But mine is a little far-fetched. I don't just want any gift. I want my near-ones to think a lot about the gift and gift me something than shows this is all about me. Something they know from my endless talks that I needed. Something they know I'll definitely like because I had wanted it since so long. Or, something just because I adore it, no matter how many in number I have. 
This is because I give the same kind of attention when I gift my loved ones. I never gift just for the sake of it. I gift after thinking of the person, and then the memories are most cherish-able. Both by the person receiving it and mine, because it brings great amount of satisfaction to me. To see them smiling, to see them feel so special.
AND, it has to be a surprise. 


Now, if you're a guy then you would definitely think, "O Lord, bless his husband. He must be having a hard time keeping this lady happy." :D Well! I agree. It must be tough for him. But then he's getting a great thing in return, and that's me :) :)


Well! Last year my husband gifted me a lot. He tried everything in his capacity to make me feel special. And, he succeeded, if you're thinking about that. The thing I liked the most was that he wrote a love-letter for me. Something soo not him and sooooo me! :)


This year, however, he hasn't been able to. Atleast not yet. Am hoping he comes out with something. :)


People generally question what's good about birthdays. Why should one be so happy about it. After all, it's an year reduced in your life. Sadists! Actually, they are ones who haven't yet understood the philosophy behind it.
1. These are just ways to celebrate. You can find your unique days or reasons to celebrate but you can't be sure that everyone would like to share your reasons of celebration. These are commonly followed. So, y not follow and enjoy!?
2. An year less in life...well, how many years you'll live, do u know? Then how do u know it's an year less in what date. Live the day, don't live the past, present, future.
3. Most important, it's a way of thanking God for giving another year, the new year, to know about yourself. About life. About the mysteries of human life. About this life and after-life. About learning. About unlearning. About growth. About loss. About emotions. About mother nature. To visit more places. To live more happy moments. To say "I love you" to your loved ones. 


"Where is the time to hate, there is so little time to love. Come'on let's sing, com'on let's dance. Com'on let's play..o meri jaaan"

Shamelessly proud of being a boy's mom

Yesterday, I uploaded a few pics of my li'l one on FB. As usual and expected, there were lot of likes, fake-likes n comments they received. My reason of uploading was only to share with my special frenz who don't get to see him a lot but keep asking me to at least upload sm photos for them to see. But, in the process, there are lot of formality people who feel they are obliged to at least LIKE the pic. Nerds!! 
Anyways, that's not why the blog. I let the world live in their own world. I live in mine.
The reason which got me thinking was sm1's comment on my son's bike pose and on his future. There was sth like "He will find a girl himself to fill up the back seat." I also replied comfortably, "Ya,  I hope he does."


Now, if I had been a girl's mom, none of this would have happened. Neither someone would have said she'll find a boyfriend and roam around with him on bikes. Nor would I have said, ya I hope she does. Is it my fault that I feel this way? Actually, not. It's the society. 


When actually two people are in a relationship, it's a mutual decision, a mutual mutiny with the society and its norms. As much as a girl defies the society, so does the boy. But, still the family of boy doesn't care if they get to know that their boy is having a girl-friend. They don't care if he's bunking classes to go for a movie with her or spending night-outs in pubs dancing with the girl. However, it's a deal worth losing appetite and losing sleep for the girl's parents. They are practically ready to just jump down the well or go into hibernation and shut themselves off from the world. 


I can't help it if being a boy's mom gets me so much relief. And, it's not just this fact but so many others.
1. You don't have to let go of your child when he grows up in his wedding.
2. As a child, a boy can lie naked in house, roam around like anything, but a girl is never left like that. She, no matter how small, is always wrapped in multi-layers. Tell me, have you ever seen a small girls' photo when she's having bath or sth? Have you seen the same photo of a boy? The answer is yes. Almost all boys have it at home, which is a laughing stock later. Never mind that one.
3. If a boy is dark/small height/has a small ****/whatever, no problem. If a girl is a little tanned, the mom has to keep worrying and doing remedies to improve her color.
4. ....


The list can go on. Am sure you can keep adding to it.
So, is it really my fault that I feel happy and relaxed that I'm a boy's mom? 


If I'm not, then how can I blame the oldies when they lament that it's a girl born. 
I know this analogy, this end-result is extremely sick to think of, shouldn't be the end result. Listening to it, thinking of it, makes me feel like I am the worst woman on the earth... but IT IS THE TRUTH and HARSH FACT in which I live. 


Can I do anything about it?


Well, yes I can. I can try and make this world a better place for the girls around me. I can try and narrow down the difference. Even if I'm not the mother of one, I can try and not be judgmental about other girls around. Just treat them as kids and let them be. 


I will definitely try.

Free- gyaan on marriage - Marriage

This was a piece of advice I gave one of my friends just when he was about to get married. 

A girl’s happiness and adjustment in the family totally depends on the boy and never the girl. So, it will always be your work to fix up things. Once you believe in this, you’ll never face any family problems. She’ll give you all the happiness in life but you’ll be happier if she’s herself happy from within. And that onus depends on you.

I learnt it by seeing Tarun. He’s done that and I’ve seen a girl (myself) change from a rebel to a complete Indian bahu taking care of the family, keeping everyone together, respecting everyone etc etc.. keeping the whole family happy. I never expected all of this from myself. There are so many things I never believed in or my parents still don’t believe in. But, he’s made me understand and see the beauty behind it. So, all the points go to Tarun for making it possible. The patience, perseverance and belief in himself and love for me made it possible.


This is just a starting point to understanding a marriage. Marriage is not just about being with your better-half and understanding him/her, and living with him/her. In India, it is more about settling in the family than with the hubby. There are just too many complexities there. If these hadn't been there, life would have been much simpler. So, for a successful marriage, aim for a successful bonding with the family. It's extremely important and difficult a job for the girl. And, whether alone or with her husband's help, she must strive for it. It not only defines the success of her marriage, it defines her happiness, her husband's happiness and the general good-health of the family. The happiness of a woman is generally ignored in Indian marriages but it is the most crucial.