Angel of my life

If you've read "Many Masters, Many Lives" by Dr Brian Weiss, you would understand the true essence of 'angel' in the title. The angel is not the cute looking, fairy-winged, dressed in white doll that we see in movies, but the ordinary human beings that we meet daily.

For the unstarted, as per the book, every person that we meet or come across in our life has some significant role to play in our lives. Some of them are angels or guardians. They are not our soulmates. They are not even consistently there in our lives. But, they play a significant role in many of the important things that happen in our life. They are truly angels.

Now, I had an angel too in my life. My best friend, my pal and my brother...not a brother by blood but a brother by emotions/heart. I am missing him a lot. A LOT. I'm no more in touch with him. The decision was consciously made. I took it. And, he just abided by it for my happiness. But, now I understand...taking a harsh decision is one thing but keeping up to it is totally another.

In this phase of missing, I've experienced some new, totally new experiences.

1. Imagining that he's there when it's not him, but a stranger walking down the road. This has happened quite many times now :( It seemed too bollywood-ish to believe when it hadn't happened to me.

2. I thought I liked talking to him because I had no one to share my problems with, or clear up my dilemmas. Now, I have my own personal someone for all that, but I miss him more now because I want to share my happiness, my happy moments with him, and I can't. I think of the happiness and think how he would have reacted, how he would have been truly happy in my joy, my happiness. There are actually very few people who would be truly delighted in your happiness. Everyone else will have a pang of jealousy or a fake smile.

3. I always believed in "out of sight, out of mind" philosophy. It worked for me quite effectively, many times. It doesn't work here. It's been an year since I met him.

In some cases, this philosophy doesn't work.

It's his birthday in a few days time, and I wish him great health and success in his life.

Wanna tell him that I miss him often. But, I think he already knows that. And, that's the beauty of our now-non-existent friendship.

It'll always remain close to my heart.

But, one thing is sure. It's difficult to let-go of such dear things in life.