Yesterday, I uploaded a few pics of my li'l one on FB. As usual and expected, there were lot of likes, fake-likes n comments they received. My reason of uploading was only to share with my special frenz who don't get to see him a lot but keep asking me to at least upload sm photos for them to see. But, in the process, there are lot of formality people who feel they are obliged to at least LIKE the pic. Nerds!!
Anyways, that's not why the blog. I let the world live in their own world. I live in mine.
The reason which got me thinking was sm1's comment on my son's bike pose and on his future. There was sth like "He will find a girl himself to fill up the back seat." I also replied comfortably, "Ya, I hope he does."
Now, if I had been a girl's mom, none of this would have happened. Neither someone would have said she'll find a boyfriend and roam around with him on bikes. Nor would I have said, ya I hope she does. Is it my fault that I feel this way? Actually, not. It's the society.
When actually two people are in a relationship, it's a mutual decision, a mutual mutiny with the society and its norms. As much as a girl defies the society, so does the boy. But, still the family of boy doesn't care if they get to know that their boy is having a girl-friend. They don't care if he's bunking classes to go for a movie with her or spending night-outs in pubs dancing with the girl. However, it's a deal worth losing appetite and losing sleep for the girl's parents. They are practically ready to just jump down the well or go into hibernation and shut themselves off from the world.
I can't help it if being a boy's mom gets me so much relief. And, it's not just this fact but so many others.
1. You don't have to let go of your child when he grows up in his wedding.
2. As a child, a boy can lie naked in house, roam around like anything, but a girl is never left like that. She, no matter how small, is always wrapped in multi-layers. Tell me, have you ever seen a small girls' photo when she's having bath or sth? Have you seen the same photo of a boy? The answer is yes. Almost all boys have it at home, which is a laughing stock later. Never mind that one.
3. If a boy is dark/small height/has a small ****/whatever, no problem. If a girl is a little tanned, the mom has to keep worrying and doing remedies to improve her color.
4. ....
The list can go on. Am sure you can keep adding to it.
So, is it really my fault that I feel happy and relaxed that I'm a boy's mom?
If I'm not, then how can I blame the oldies when they lament that it's a girl born.
I know this analogy, this end-result is extremely sick to think of, shouldn't be the end result. Listening to it, thinking of it, makes me feel like I am the worst woman on the earth... but IT IS THE TRUTH and HARSH FACT in which I live.
Can I do anything about it?
Well, yes I can. I can try and make this world a better place for the girls around me. I can try and narrow down the difference. Even if I'm not the mother of one, I can try and not be judgmental about other girls around. Just treat them as kids and let them be.
I will definitely try.
Anyways, that's not why the blog. I let the world live in their own world. I live in mine.
The reason which got me thinking was sm1's comment on my son's bike pose and on his future. There was sth like "He will find a girl himself to fill up the back seat." I also replied comfortably, "Ya, I hope he does."
Now, if I had been a girl's mom, none of this would have happened. Neither someone would have said she'll find a boyfriend and roam around with him on bikes. Nor would I have said, ya I hope she does. Is it my fault that I feel this way? Actually, not. It's the society.
When actually two people are in a relationship, it's a mutual decision, a mutual mutiny with the society and its norms. As much as a girl defies the society, so does the boy. But, still the family of boy doesn't care if they get to know that their boy is having a girl-friend. They don't care if he's bunking classes to go for a movie with her or spending night-outs in pubs dancing with the girl. However, it's a deal worth losing appetite and losing sleep for the girl's parents. They are practically ready to just jump down the well or go into hibernation and shut themselves off from the world.
I can't help it if being a boy's mom gets me so much relief. And, it's not just this fact but so many others.
1. You don't have to let go of your child when he grows up in his wedding.
2. As a child, a boy can lie naked in house, roam around like anything, but a girl is never left like that. She, no matter how small, is always wrapped in multi-layers. Tell me, have you ever seen a small girls' photo when she's having bath or sth? Have you seen the same photo of a boy? The answer is yes. Almost all boys have it at home, which is a laughing stock later. Never mind that one.
3. If a boy is dark/small height/has a small ****/whatever, no problem. If a girl is a little tanned, the mom has to keep worrying and doing remedies to improve her color.
4. ....
The list can go on. Am sure you can keep adding to it.
So, is it really my fault that I feel happy and relaxed that I'm a boy's mom?
If I'm not, then how can I blame the oldies when they lament that it's a girl born.
I know this analogy, this end-result is extremely sick to think of, shouldn't be the end result. Listening to it, thinking of it, makes me feel like I am the worst woman on the earth... but IT IS THE TRUTH and HARSH FACT in which I live.
Can I do anything about it?
Well, yes I can. I can try and make this world a better place for the girls around me. I can try and narrow down the difference. Even if I'm not the mother of one, I can try and not be judgmental about other girls around. Just treat them as kids and let them be.
I will definitely try.
:D I so love how unapologetically you put your point across and win the argument. your daughter in law better watch out :P
ReplyDeletehahaha! Truly said and quite good a derivation. Though not explicit from the post but it can be derived. :) Well, as for DIL, I just hope I can let her be and not keep preaching her to death ;) :) :P
ReplyDeleteThat's why I intend to live separate as soon as Anay gets married. Let them live their life and let me live mine. Only if I can let this happen. 'X' (Fingers crossed)