Turbulence

The times are tumultuous. I'm having opposing thoughts every half-an-hour. One minute my thoughts are tilting towards going to Bangalore and the next hour, I'm totally against it and checking my sanity. I'm continuously explaining myself the goods of the decision. And, I'm continuously warring with my thoughts which are saying it's a good idea. 

I don't know if I'm making any sense any more. Forget to you, even to myself.

I told Tarun let's go for a short break. Let's go somewhere. But, God is just not ready to give me a respite, yet. This weekend I really needed to go somewhere. I was ready to go anywhere, even if it meant just going to next door for a break. But, as luck would have it, I couldn't get it. I did go to my childhood friend's place. She recently delivered a baby and I was over-due to meet her. So, it was a respite. But, it was a short one. Happened and ended.

The weekend is over and am back in the grill. The work is not moving an inch. My mind is not letting my concentrate on my work and move forward even a bit. I'm busy fixing my mind the whole day in office. And, busy cursing myself of losing another of work, when am back at home. I think many people would call this Procrastination but I think this is a very tiring way of killing time. If anyone needs tips, please consult me in better times. I can write a book on 100 ways of killing time without taking any tension.

Any person I talk to, 'any-body-at-all', about my career decision, ridicules me. Now, this could be one of the two cases -

1. If everyone you meet in your lane is coming in the wrong direction, perhaps you are in the wrong lane. / 

the hindi adage 'vinaash kaale viparit budhhi'.

2. When you do something unusual, people ridicule you and say it cannot be done. When you achieve, they say, why wasn't it done before. 

Hope you get the dilemma. O Lord, am I losing it!?

Just let it be only me losing it. Hope I don't drive Tarun insane too in the process.