How I would live my life if I relived it.

I've often mentioned about the Phoenix times of my life that happened when I was in US. And, the changes it brought to my life. 
The time has brought so much change that I'm a totally new person.People from my past life, when they meet me, none of them has failed to say 'Swati,you've changed a lot. A Lot.' I don't know whether the change is good or bad to them. I just know I'm happy with the changes.
But, after the changes, I wish I had some changes in my past life too. I miss some things which I could have back then, and cannot have now. I would like to list them here. I feel like I missed on them, and would like to re-live my life.


1. Have a girl's gang.
2. Go to a girl's college like LSR for Women.
3. Be a Bitch.
4. Never have entered an Engineering College.
5. Wish I had not been such a bright student, but a little lesser one so that I could have been left to my own means, and not pushed for a little extra always. That would have saved me so much misery. 
6. Had been more closer to my Mom back then. I'm so close to her now that I miss not being that, then.
7. Had a no-boys world for myself back then.
8. Got into blogging at that time.
9. Got over my fear for animals.
10. Learnt dancing.
11. Learn Radio Jockeying
12. Tried wood-crafting, Craftwork on professional levels, Interior Designing, Cooking, Managed a library.
13. Traveled a lot more with friends.
14. Last but not the least, after having tried my hand at everything, chosen a field I truly loved, and being pursuing that by the age of 25.


I think I can keep the list going on and on. But, I think the crux is in there mostly.

Protect your dream

Just the other day at work, we were discussing about a fellow colleague. It happened to be his anniversary that day and we came to know that it had been 10 yrs since he got married. That brought the question on how old was he exactly. And, we realized he was well in his late-30s. Now, that's not something to be astonished about but just that the guy doesn't look even 30+, forget nearing 40.
And, the major point that struck the chord was that he had been working since past almost 10 yrs. And, he was still a no-one.
No-one?
I mean, after working 10 yrs in the industry, I want to be someone people know, I want to be someone who stands out in the team, at least. Even if I'm not the best in the trade, or I don't have exemplary patents or awards behind me, I definitely expect myself to be a person, whom people look up and think that she's knowledgeable. She has some experience in the industry. Basically, I should have something beside me that sets a fresher or 3 yrs work-ex person from me.
The person in discussion was not such a person as yet. To say the least, he's practically non-existent in the team.

And, this brought me to the revelation that such a state is also possible. There can be a state where I'm a 10-yrs work-ex and nobody in the team. Just another person working in PV team. Someone. Somebody. Nobody.

It felt like I had lost everything. I mean, I am already 6 yrs work-ex. 10-yrs is not that far and I don't see anything happening to change the course drastically. If I do anything new, I would be a fresher grappling in the waters again. In times, when I should be well successful and settled, I'm still testing different waters. I felt like I've failed even before I tried.

But, perhaps, the problem is that we keep deadlines without thinking rationally. And, to somethings, like dreams, there are no dead-lines. If you want it, you'll want it till the end. And, even if it takes your whole lifetime in achieving it, you won't mind. Because, in the end, it's you who matters and it's your own ambition.

As Will Smith says in 'Pursuit of Happyness' ----
"Don't ever let someone tell you that you can't do something.Not even me. You got a dream, you gotta protect it. When people can't do somethings themselves, they are gonna tell you that you can't do it. You want something, go get it. Period."

ek duje ke liye :P

Me: Agar inhone mujhe is baar achhi hike nahi dee to main bangalore chali jaungi.
T: Tum chali jaogi? Sachhi mein chali jaogi?
Me: Haan.
T:    chali jaogi?
Me: Hmmm
T:    Humein chhod ke chali jaogi. Tum reh logi mere bina?
Me: Haan. Mujhe yakeen hai mera pyaar tumhein kheench layega wahan pe.
T:    Theek hai chali jana. 
Me: Tum reh loge mere bina?
T:    Mujhe yakeen hai mere pyaar ki wajah se tum plane pe chhadh hi nahi paogi aur wapis aa jaogi.


Me, T: Hahahahaha!