Karvachauth

This was my second Karvachauth. And it went successful. 


I'm pretty bad at keeping fasts. Those who meet me on a daily basis know it pretty well that I cannot skip my meals. No matter what. No matter I'm having a bad work-day, an emotionally challenging day, or a totally mad-day, I cannot skip my meal. Not even one, forget all three. Just before the Karvachauth, when the Navratras were going on, people asked me, you can't keep these, how did you manage Karvachauth. And the answer was "I don't know, maybe these are the first years of my marriage and I love my husband enough to survive the day ;) ".


This was my answer anytime anyone asked me. But, I never believed much in it. Too practical to believe in things like Love...
Perhaps, the reason was that my MIL doesn't force me to keep it strictly. She eats in the morning, gets me things I like, like Kalakand etc for the sargai. Then, she allows us to have water, tea and fruits at 4.00 when we do the Pooja. Maybe that's the reason I manage the day till the end. This is what I thought till this KV.


But, this time, I was amazed. It was Karvachauth. It was Saturday and we were shifting house so all the shifting had to be done. Since the shifting had to be done within those two days of the weekend, we couldn't afford to waste a day. So, I was all running here and there, packing everything, pushing cartons and all. Plus, to top it all, it was the time of the month which is common agony of being a woman. 


When the day started, I had a feeling that this day is a challenge, let's see how I fair. And, surprisingly, apart from a weak moment around 1.00 PM, after which I took a nap for an hour, I was fine. 


When the day ended and I looked at the moon in the sky and the moon/sun/stars of my life, I was forced to believe, it's indeed the love which survives me through it.


And, I have a feeling that when the love fades, the day will not go through either. Only time will tell.


Till then, wait-n-watch! :)

Free Gyaan on Marriage - Courtship

Having spent almost 2 yrs in marital life, I think I am eligible enough to give some gyaan to the people crossing the bridge now. Anyways, free gyaan/advice can be given without any experience also, so never mind. I'm breaking it into parts to maintain the importance of each. The first is about Courtship.


There are quite many friends of mine getting married around me. So, not thinking about my own courtship time and then marriage is simply unavoidable. I had one of the most happy and exciting courtship period and going by the statistics of Indian marriages, I should be amongst the most happy and satisfied married women. When I see the newbies, I lament for their loss when I see them wasting such a precious time like courtship in office or cribbing about work and preparations for the wedding. 


Courtship is the time when you've met your partner, whose going to be with you forever, whom you're supposed to be infinitely in love, so much so that no one else seems to attract you or matter to you anymore. While some people say that when you're getting married, you will have all the time in the world after the marriage to know each other, to spend with each other etc. I beg to differ. If you've ever tried to differentiate between a wife and a girl-friend, you'll realize that the major difference is that after marriage there are so many societal responsibilities and things to be managed that you never get the twosome time you should. Both the people are busy getting things done. Courtship is the only time when you can give the other person a chance to become your dream-girl/boy. If you have never spent some care-free time together and are always busy discussing the groceries and rent-to-be-paid, how do you think you'll ever gel together. Courtship is the answer to all this. Hence, never waste anytime of your courtship. 
To give a benchmark, I used to meet my husband daily...yes, daily, and no, we were not working in the same company. We had to make it work out. I used to go by metro instead of my office bus to be with him. He used to start at my time, come to my office, and the only time we used to get was while travelling from office to metro, which was around 40 minutes, +20 minutes which we used to average-ly snatch out somehow.


Second important thing, don't go by the norms. At least in matters of heart, let the heart rule and let mind take a nap. Just because something was done by some hero or heroine in a movie, you'll do it, is foolish. Make your own love story, define your own happy moments. Do what your heart says. After our roka/fix-up, I gate-crashed his office with a bouquet. This was within a week's time of roka. It was a surprise/shock visit. And, he was forced to leave everything he was working on and take me out. I know it's extremely foolish, unplanned but what's a story without any adventure/madness streak to it? Plus, I did what my heart told me to. "Mera mann aaya main kutta maar ke khaya" :P :D (For the un-bollywood people, this is a famous dialogue by a villian in a hindi movie..forgot the name of the movie..had urmila matondkar in it, that's all I can recollect).


So, moral of the story, nothing comes easy. If you want a relationship which is different from the average arranged marriage, you've to put in the extra effort, just like you are willing to do, in a self-chosen love relationship.

Pregnancy, Labor Pains, and thereafter

I'm sharing my experience of delivery. The weak-hearted, please don't read further.


Pregnancy was pretty much unplanned for me. While me and my husband were thinking of planning one but we never thought it would happen so soon. So, even before we knew, I was pregnant. 


11 July'2010 was my LMP and on 9August'2010, I found about it. Thanks to the preg tests these days. Now, for the first time pregnancies, it's a roller coaster ride. You can never know what is to follow. You can never imagine. No amount of gathering information on net, talking to elders, etc can help you prepare yourself for the unfathomable. 


In my first trimester, as soon as I realized I was pregnant, the chemical reactions started taking place in me. The 2 following months were terrible. I could hardly eat. Every time I ate, I felt like puking. I didn't feel like eating anything. I used to have what people call morning sickness. This means that if I took anything, like a glass of milk, or a parantha, or an orange, or anything, I will definitely puke. No matter how light I keep my diet in the morning, I would puke. 
There were times when I puked while going to office, in office and what not. My usual diet went down to half, and I started taking double the time to eat my meal. The whole table used to be waiting for me to finish. To top it, I wasn't supposed to tell anyone. 


I used to be very weak. Then, I got infected with ear-infection. It was something coz of the moist air. I remember the pain got unbearable and it was a Sunday, an off day for doctors. Me and my husband roamed around the whole area looking for a doctor, any emergency doctor in any hospital, but there was only Medicine Doctor available, no ENT. Since I was expecting, I wasn't supposed to take any medication without consulting my gynae. Finally, I called home. My brother got some medicine referred by a friend's mausi, whose a gynae. The pain killer helped me get to sleep for an hour. During this time, my hubby looked up the ENT specialists in Noida and called them up to find out whom we could go to. Finally, we went to one. He worked me up and I got relief. The medicines were again to be approved. My FIL is a Pharmaceutical guy so any medicine I take needs to be approved by him. Tarun and He decided I should not be taking heavy dosage. It was when Tarun saw that I couldn't bear it anymore that he superceded and got me the meds.


The pain, the agony, the turmoil ended as soon as I entered my second trimester. It was the best part of the pregnancy. No problem in general. And as it is said, the good times faster than the bad ones, this one ended too. And, my third trimester started. As soon as third started, I started having back pains. Standing for too long became quite tiring. I was tired all the time. I ate like sumos. Always eating, always hungry. 


In my 8th month, I started having itching problems. It's a strange and a very bad problem that ladies have during pregnancy. Due to the hormonal changes, the liver starts having problems and as a result, your whole body starts itching. The itching started with my feet, and took over my whole body within no time. I could no longer work. I used to scratch involuntarily and subconsciously. Tarun used to keep telling me "Try to avoid it. Try to not scratch." But, nothing worked. I stopped going to office. The itching reached its peak during night. I used to stay awake the whole night. You would think I'm exaggerating but ask my husband. He knows I'm true till the last dot. I used to scratch with everything and anything that got to my reach. The legs still have the marks. We tried everything from creams, lotions, oils...ohhh! what not! I used to pass my nights watching movies, reading novels or something. But, I could never rest. I slept in day time. 


Finally, on 1st April'2010, morning 6.00 AM, I had my pains begin. I was sure it was time. My MIL asked me a few questions to confirm that it was actually labor pains. We got ready, had an early breakfast n stuff. All set, but by 8.00 AM, the pains subsided. It was a false alarm. But, I went to my gynae for my regular check up in the evening. She said, it's time. The baby is progressing real fast and you will be back anytime soon. You may return tonight, you may return in two days. Let's see if the baby lets you see the World Cup or not. 
I don't know what the baby had to wait for but the result of that meeting was that I had severe pain now, and could barely walk or stand. I was sitting all the time. 


And, it seems the baby was actually interested in watching the World Cup rather than wasting the day in the OT. So, right after watching the World Cup till 12.30 AM, I had my pains restart as soon as we retired to bed. But, I wanted to wait and watch than disturb others. Till 2.30 AM, I kept moving in and out of the bathroom checking if I've a bad stomach or actual pains. Then, I decided...it's time! And I woke up Tarun. 


After the 1st April false alarm, everyone wanted to be sure than sorry. Tarun took his sweet time, as much as his howling wifey allowed. Then, he went ahead and woke up MIL and FIL. After everything, I reached hospital by 4.00 AM. This was another filmy twist here. The hospital was just 5 minutes from our home. But, the gate that we used to take was closed (since it was night). So, it took us complete 15-20 minutes to reach there. It felt like eternity to me. God was enjoying himself thoroughly. 


Contd in second post...

Citizenship, Religion etc

I often wonder what’s the big deal about citizenship and nationality. Yes, it does effect the kind of infrastructure I get, the luxuries that are available at my disposal, it changes the weather I grew up in, and it decided what language I use to abuse people when am angry. But, more than that, how should it matter where I was born? The people living in America or in China are no lesser or bigger human than I am. They work to earn their livelihood, so do I. They have families, kids, jobs, life, just like me. Now, when someone does something wrong to you, how does the country come into picture.

When the World War ensued and Vietnam was being destroyed by America, people in America protested their government. They held protest marches and what not. Was it unusual? Yes, looking at the culture followed in India and most parts of the world, it was. But, should it be unusual? No! As humans, we should raise our voices against any wrong done to any human. Don’t we do it when it’s done against our loved ones, or against people in our country? We don’t mind doing that. But, we question the sanity of the person who says we should behave similarly to a person living in Pakistan.

We eat rotis. Some people call it chapatti, some people call it roti, some call it bread. In Arabic, it must be called something different. We all do potty. Some call it potty, some shit, in rural parts of India, people call it laetrin :P Does that change what it is? It is the same. Just because something is called different in different languages or areas, doesn’t change the true existence of something. So, why do we think God is different from Allah or Jesus or whatever. Why can’t we just accept the fact that they are all same? And when they are the same, why do we have to make such a big issue of how one prays to it. When I am angry, I even call him swear words. So? Does that make me a satan? Does it change my feelings towards God. Does it change God’s affection towards me? No! God is God and Swati is Swati. To each one, its own.

These are some of the simple facts of the world’s existence. These have never changed just like so many other things about life. Just accept them and continue with the more pressing matters like the latest movie and the girl next door.

And when someone asks you, “Are you an Indian?”, just say…”I’m not just an Indian, I’m a global citizen.”

Women!

They are no sheep, they are the wolves, u fool

They don't mind winking at you on street side, if they like you

the thing is they don't like you

They can go ahead and propose any guy they want to,

the thing is, they know the silly would like to chase and get her, to realize he loves her too

They can shoot you point blank, if they wish to

the thing is they know better ways to kill you (like betrayal or a fuck) 

They have big attitude and even bigger ego than you

the thing is they are smarter than you to understand what they'll lose

They have sharper a voice than you and more strength to argue

the thing is they know it'll hurt you more than the physical torture

They act coy and shy in bed only because they know it gives you a high.

the thing is, if given a chance, they can rule better than you do.

They know how foolish it looks to propose in the middle of the restaurant,

the thing is, they know you have wanted to do exactly that, all your life.

And if you think you're being manipulated/maneuvered, think again, you're just been taken care of.