To understand this, I thought of how I would like to grow up my girl. I always had innumerable plans on how to raise my boy, but never gave much thought on what if it's a girl....
Unfortunately, the two plans had so many differences.
Just because she's a girl, there were starking differences in my plans on what I'll allow, how I'll educate her, what all she can get and what she can't. It looked more like the thought brought out the stricter me from within me, than the loving, caring woman, a mother should be.
She shouldn't be doing this...She's a girl and will be married and expected to behave in such and such manner...she's a girl and may not get that much independence in her new home.... The thoughts were all constraining.
I think the idea of bringing my girl into a world where there are so many disparities and so many boundaries for women, I would be deeply hurt to see a tender soul and a piece of my heart, going through the same difficulties as I have..as I still go through.
It all sounds as if it's ages old world that I'm talking of, but no! This world is where my Mom lived, this is the same world where my Mom-in-law lived, and this is the same world where I'm expected to live. It hasn't changed much.
Only the outer layer changes, but internally everything is the same...the beliefs, the traditions, the mind-set.
The only way that mind set can change is if the younger generation, the upcoming generation says 'no' to following these blind traditions. A firm NO.
But, call it the poor destiny of Indians and India, the nation, you can break any legal law or rule, but breaking a tradition, a family belief is equal to breaking ties with your family.
I doubt many of us would go that far.
Till that time, I can just pray to God to not give me a daughter.
No way...... Nahi yaar..... I remember one of your post where you mentioned that you wanted to pursue something other than the job you were doing at that time and your parents especially your father was against that. At that time you gave up but the mere mentione of that thing made me realise that you have it in you to question the illogical traditions that we Indians are shackeled too but now this post where you even don't want to face it ???
ReplyDeleteCome on yaar.... Just because most of us din't have it doesn't mean that it can never happen... This quote of Bapu rings in my head "Be the change you want to see in the world"
I am not judging you ...its your life and you have to face it... May God hear all your prayers... but I hope in case its not as per your wish then God will give you the strength and opportunities to make it a beautiful and "free" world for her to grow in.
:) Thanks for reminding me the post/the zeal. I still have it in me, where some part of me wants to break free from those shackles. But, that zeal is something that's giving me the max problem now... that attitude is what gives you issues later.
ReplyDeleteWhat's the point giving your girl a so-called-free world when you want her to be back in the same social mould at the end?
I know you feel vehemently for your thought and about changing rules and society,right now.. but it's just about being on the other side of the bridge. Once you get married and cross the bridge, then the complete picture will be in front of you. Then, you'll have not much option but to follow the rule book just to get over with it.
This all must be sounding sadist on my part. Perhaps it is...but I also know that I'll never be able to accept anything less for my daughter (if that happens) either, BUT I would not like to give her a wrong picture of the world. I would like her to know everything in advance and be prepared for the issues she may face later in life.